Monday, March 30, 2009

interview with Oli

1. What is something mommy always says to you? "don't get out of your bed!!"
2. What makes mommy happy? "staying in my bed and going to sleep"
3. What makes mommy sad? "me getting out of my bed and not going to sleep"
4. How does your mommy make you laugh? "doing funny stuff... like sticking your tongue and stuff and making funny faces."
5. What was your mommy like as a child? "i don't know.. same look... like- i don't know.."
6. How old is your mommy? "like 65.."
7. How tall is your mommy? "like 76 like yah.. just 76."
8. What is her favorite thing to do? "play guitar hero.."
9. What does your mommy do when you're not around? "playing the computer"
10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for? "for doing good stuff and giving money to people"
11. What is your mommy really good at? "guitar hero and eating chocolate"
12. What is your mommy not very good at? "cleaning Gus poop outside"
13. What does your mommy do for a job? "clean the house up"
14.What is your mommy's favorite food? "potatoes i think .... and pears" ((??))
15.What makes your mommy proud of you? "being good doing my chores and cleaning the tv room really good"
16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be? "a guitar hero girl or yoshi or link"
17. What do you and your mommy do together? "good stuff like play guitar hero together and play the computer together and eat popcorn and watch movies and leave on trips."
18. How are you and your mommy the same? "we both like r2d2"
19. How are you and your mommy different? "im naughtier and youre gooder"
20. How do you know your mommy loves you? "cause our heart knows."
21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy? "Getting eggs for you"
22. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go? "i think pablos or panera"

Friday, March 20, 2009

it's funny, in africa i felt closer to craig than i have since he left. perhaps it was the crazy motor cycle ride on top of the couch...
my heart breaks for a friend who has lost her best friend. and parents that aren't holding their little man tonight. it makes me feel unjustified that my heart is broken.
he held me instead of my dad the evening of our wedding and i covered his shoulder with snot. there isn't a day that doesn't go by that i don't long to dance with him again.
i feel as i have lived the past months in a daze.. that somehow some way i will awake. thinking that i should do something, become something.
and He keeps telling me to rest in Him.
to hide in Him.
i can't believe it's been six months ago tonight.
i miss you.. you big butthead.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


i like beth moore studies. she's quirky and out there transparent and is kinda nerdy in some ways.. and i really appreciate that. so our church has been doing her study on the book of esther and it's been good.. real good. and i am humbled to say that God gave me a word to share in Uganda from what He showed me through it. it was with an amazing group of children, by light from a lamp, with the most amazing hearts of worship i have heard. i can hear them, feel them.. see them ..i could be there right now.

back to beth.
the other night an amazing woman in our group shared that she feels as though she is on a ship. a sinking ship. that she has been reaching out for lifeboats. God is telling her to wait.. to trust.

dude. it hit me right on the head.

this has been a season in my life where if i were to be totally honest: im jacked.
i mean more jacked then trying to play guitar hero while giving a spelling test.

i pretty much don't get anything. and thus thats why i haven't been writing.. or reading.. and basically a complete loco idiot.

i have been longing to go down with Him, in this sinking ship to trust Him and to know He's all. but yet frantically searching every which way for a lifeboat. heck.. i've tried to jump on a few pieces of roten driftwood.

another of my all time favs is my utmost for his highest by oswald chambers.. i like to pretend he's my grandpa..

this is from his writings the other day..
its from mark 10:32
At first I was confident that I understood Him, but now I am not so sure.... He is ahead of me and He never turns around; I have no idea where He is going, and his goal has become strangely far off..... When the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come that following of Jesus which is an unspeakable joy.

and then a day or two later...
Paul is like a musician who does not need the approval of the audience if he can catch the look of approval from his Master.

so wheremi going here??
i told you.. nutso.

do i want to spend the rest of my life on a life boat.. with my jacket.. all snuggled in, talking about the ship experience.. encouraging others to head to the ship.. and me ((and my fam)) be SAFE

or will i stay and dance.. tap dance on a sinking ship.. trusting, waiting.. not always understanding.. where i might face *fill in the blank here* and with only one audience that approves??

honestly... im not sure yet.

but i will tell you the life boat is too little to dance on.