Monday, December 8, 2008

2008: nuts.

As I wrap up this year, it's so easy for me to see how NUTS it has been. How many times have I been so incredibly desperate for God to tuck me in and hide me in Him?

How things in life can change in a whirlwind, never to be the same: churches, families, hearts.

One of the very first verses that stuck out to me when I was a brand new believer was:
John 3:8 The wind blows whereever it pleases. You hear it's sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.
The invisible moving the visible. Do I trust that? Do I trust Him to be my defender? My planner? My ONLY hope?
It's more messy than I would like it to be: Life. It's really hard for me to be this vulnerable.
I really suck. I fail miserably ALL the time. I bank on my own feelings, insecurities, and emotions.
I should be dead in my own failures. But somehow I have ended up as HIS. and He is ok with me- even broken, crawling into His presence.
That's NUTS.
It lights a firecracker under my bottom and wakes me up. And brings me to my knees. At the end of this chapter, it's the only place I can be. In Him. The author of creation, the author of this tiny small speck in His story.
So I might wrap up this year a little nutso . Who was banking on me to be anything but?? But you know in that He is going to get the only Glory... :)
and Nutso as I am- all I have is trust in Him to bring this thing of life around in the very end..
(....I'm in the planning committee for that party...)


jenni said...

i'll be on the planning committee with you my friend. thanks for what you wrote. i needed it today. not sure what i would do without you. love you!

Tina said...

you know... you really are nutso.

I love nutso people. :)

Joshua said...

You are the most real person I have ever met. That is just one of the reasons I love you so much. Thank you for being yourself in a world that is often really messed up, thank you for doing your best to live only for His approval. You really are amazing.

nicole said...

I heart you. A lot.

that is my final answer!

Mike and Katie said...

I loved your comment on MckMama's about adding older kids and keeping babies! That's great!

Heth said...

I love you. I love your vulnerability. You are not nutso, you are amazing.