So I am all snuggled up with the sweetest little thumb sucking girl in the world- who I borrowed for the evening. She is rubbing her other hand on my arm, it is so priceless, she is so priceless. I could just bottle her up. Which makes this post bearable.
It has been two weeks ago tonight that my brother was traveling a mile and a half from his house, a beautiful evening with a beautiful girl. He grinned in embarrassment when we teased him about her. His wore his feelings on his sleeve like a school boy.
Not a moment sooner, not a second later, a young deer jumped out from the ditch, landing on his fender, changing our world forever.
Apparently, his front tire locked up. The next moments I don't even want to begin to envision.
Craig was the oldest of my three brothers. My big brother who made it all better and rigged me up my own moped just weeks after I could ride a bike. I can't even try to explain to you, to wrap up in words who he was. And who he was to me.
He loved life. He love the mountains. It is where he truly found God. Not confined in a pew or lost in politically correctness. He was transparent and lived free. Free of expectations, religion, and much of the junk that I choose to carry.
(( Wait my baby fell asleep!- Well not my baby, my borrowed baby!! - She is such a doll, but anyway..))
So here is the deal folks:
I have to be changed.
I have to be.
I can not walk through this life and not be changed by him. By this. God has given me the ability to live my life fully, at least for today.
So, I have begun my Craig's list.
No, although I have been temped to sell everything I own, it's not the typical Craig's list.
It's something like this:
7 things I want to change/become/do
in honor of who Craig was and in knowing my home is not HERE. This life is infact temporary. And this pain is momentary.
Cause soon :) I am going home.
One moment in Bulgaria, we were traveling on a bus and were inches from hitting a semi head on. In the words of Harold: "we were almost promoted- either you believe it or not."
So it has begun, the beginning stages of my list. My Craig's list.
In the words of Lava girl and Shark boy, "Dream a better dream, and work to make it real."
So all I got for you tonight is #1:
1. Learn to play the guitar well. :)
8 comments:
I am sooooooooo glad you decided to post this!!!! I was hoping you would!!! I am working on my list too BUT I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE SNUGGLING WITH MY BORROWED BABY!!! Ok, back to the post, my jealousy is transparent ;-) no really, I am so glad you decided to post this, it was excellent! Dont forget I am here to help in any way i can!!! Chin up, your list would make your brother even more proud of you than he already was!!!
Awww, can I play with you? :)
How amazing to have some clarity in this blur....
Love you.
Your first lesson is Thursday, yeah. I'm excited to see you play the guitar.
That's awesome Mel. A Craig's List. Perfect.
#1 is great. You will be a natural. Can I suggest a #2? I think you know what it would be. :)
Love you and love that you are letting this change how you live. We could all stand to learn from you and how you have handled this.
And guess who is sitting on my lap and sucking her thumb right now as I type this?
you always amaze me! someday I need to tell you about my friend Tamara.
hmmm.... I know there are lots of hidden other talents in there waiting to make the list.
You are amazingly talented. Craig knew that. He had to.
You are making me wonder if my passing would have such a precious effect on anyone as Craig's has on you.
How many things will change in your world because of your wonderful brother? His legacy is just beginning to manisfest itself and it's going to be beautiful.
Love you and your sweet family.
Mel,
You're so cool, wish we were closer and you could hold my baby! We did get the NU outfit!! I haven't gotten the thank you out because my baby is always hanging on my arm. I go back to work in a week, then I may actually be able to blog, haha!
I think your Craig's list idea is an awesome way to honor your brother. Maybe you can start a band when you learn to play and I can sing some songs with you! : )
Love you!
Post a Comment