in church on sunday new parents held their sweet little guy before the church and dedicated him back to the Lord. as the church prayed over the the precious little boy, one of our pastor reminded our congregation of their role in this little one's life. the privilege of being part of his family.
after coming to Jesus, at this is the same alter we held our third child before the Lord. God knowing that we knew so very little about this child in our arms. the little precious blond angel, the fiery little bundle she would become. how in her twos she would cut her hair every time it started to grow, how her heart pounded with each lipstick she found unattended. how she would cause me to question what i was made of, what was truly in my heart as i pour myself out on her. oh... and what is yet to come. what dreams He has instilled in her. what passions He will lay upon her strong mind and heart.
the commitment the congregation made as they raised their hands praying over her...they didn't know what they were in for!! this morning that commitment was tested. (i swear they wanted to scream, i take it back!!!) kicking her out of the nursery?? i think this morning they really wanted to. i would have.
but something came to me this afternoon as i cleaned up yellow modeling clay. in the crib, in the carpet. ((boredom during toddler nap time.)) i sucked up josh' wedding ring in the vac.. opps. then dug though the clay mixed with dirt, beads, cherrios, to find it. it was somewhere during this time that i realized what a dork i am.
i don't know what she'll do in her life. i don't know what mr. modeling clay will do. or about mr. toilet paper roll artist. or miss. burden for north korea. or even miss. i want to stay my baby forever. what does it mean to dedicate them, surrender them to the Lord? does it mean they will say the right things ((anything nice)) to the nursery workers? does it mean i can harbor them beside me in my safe little town? does it mean that i have any clue what God is doing in their hearts, in their lives? does it mean i know why she is the way she is? or really what a gift she is? or who she truly is? for it is God alone that knit her together.
there are so many approaches to parenting. but our kids don't seem to fit into a seven step formula to great children. and i don't even know if that's what our goal is. a friend of mine has a little boy who is autistic and she has shared with me her frustrations of when he has difficult moments in public. people don't realize the emotions and reasons why he behaves as he does.
but don't each of our children have their own moments of strengths and weaknesses? i sure do myself. so i guess i am in total surrender and dependence on Jesus. no matter where God calls this crazy family to on this round globe, in His arms is the only place i want to be. the only Father i seek, dedicating her and each of them to Him alone. for they are His alone.
i wanted to do an april fool's post:
"we are moving to africa."
..but i am still explaining the des moines situation. so i thought i better be all adult like and leave it alone.