Ok, so i have made it clear that i don't like lists. And after i thought about it, i think it's really the obligation of a list that i don't like. if you don't have one, you can just kinda float through life.. hum. Yah, so there's my problem.
For the last month, at least, I have told my sweet husband to wake me up when he gets up, cause he's all disciplined and stuff. Did i mention that he has a great sense of humor? it goes something like:
"i think i'm going to run in the morning, will you wake me up?"
"sure.... do you want me to really wake you up? "
"huh... i donno, we'll see."
You guessed it. Not once. Not once. i can't do it. and i have to take the blame, cause he tries, he does. But it is just so hard. i am willing to leave my soft, warm cozy bed for a few things, really. but not running. -sidenote, i had an awesome dream the other night that toby mac was leading worship at church and john rueben was standing next to me worshiping. it was fun, well, maja thought it was cool anyway.
i hate running.
it is so bad. bad. bad. bad.
i know there are like a kabillion of you out there who are so awesome and amazing, and i think you have so many skills. And i realize that as you so beautifully run along that you may not be grinning cheek to cheek, that "supposedly" (although i haven't experienced that to actually witness it's truth) the reward is at the end. But how do you do it???!
i remember my freshman year. i spent way too much time dorking off in track. (i know... can't believe it.) but i have never mastered the mental game. All that comes across my mind every. single. step. is "this is not fun!! it really really stinks. this is not fun." kinda like a breathing pattern.
and i wouldn't really care all that much, except there is this part of me, the part that realizes i am not 14 anymore, *cough*, who kinda would like to figure this thingy out. Not to run marathons, or anything crazy like that. But to simply become a "disciplined" adult who can wake up in the mornings, put on my shoes, and at least walk out the door of my house. Even if i just go around the block!
Hey- i guess i have a real list t-
things that i am not good at and that are simply not good:
i would like to say that tomorrow will be different. but, well, ask josh.