faith

I have been thinking about faith a lot lately. How does one live out a life of reckless abandonment to Christ alone? How do we throw down the attachments to this world to live the promised life today- before we actually see it?

I love the connection between faith and actions. It's almost as mysterious as a marriage union. How two are one, yet remain individuals.

When Abraham placed Issac on the alter he had to do just that, place him. Knowing that in faith God could raise him back from the dead, if He chose to.

It was an if-then. If you step out in actions/faith, I will bless you, I will reveal myself to you, you will be my people and I will be your God.

I love the story of Moses. I can relate so much to this guy who keeps insisting that he doesn't have what it takes. I wonder really what it felt like to leave the security of his acreage in the wilderness, packing up his family, leaving his in laws and community to go back to a land he fled. Not knowing how they would respond, thinking he would fumble with his words, and knowing they knew his sin. But seeing that God's people needed deliverance. Deliverance from the bondage that entrapped them.

Talk about faith in action. Action in faith. Living the unseen.

Call me a dreamer. But I think God has instilled things in us. I think sometimes we are afraid to question. Afraid to act. Afraid of what faith in the unseen looks like. Because it's unseen. What is God doing in this generation?

If -then.

It's kinda weird. When we finally see the unseen, see the promised land, our opportunity to live in faith will be gone.


Hebrews11:1-2
The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can not see. The act of faith is what distingished out ancestors, set them above he crowd.

Another Bulgaria Moment

I have published like a kabillion posts on Bulgaria and yet if feels like I have only touched the tip.. It's so hard to capture the way that God revealed Himself to us by seeing His world in this tiny way. After going, all of the fears in the preparation seem so insignificant. From childcare to finances, God lavished Himself on our family.

Yet one of the ways that I wished that I would have prepared more is in the language barrier.

The first day that we were there, my luggage was lost :). So I did what every American girl does without a suitcase, I went to the store. Not to buy clothes, well, not yet anyway. To buy the other item girls can't live without, shoes.. no, tampons.

The closest thing I found to a stuff mart was the tiny little water/chocolate/cigarette store under our hotel. Since tampons are such a hot stealing item, I finally found them tucked away nicely under the glass counter.

Hum... There was an over abundance of little packages beneath the glass. How I just wanted to grab the one that I needed, separated from a layer of glass. I tried to pointed in the direction of the pink one that I wanted.
Wait, they were all pink, is there something to that mentally? Is it comforting to grab a package each month in the official girl color-trimmed in teal..?

I pointed, I grunted, I shook my head in every direction. (Side note: yes and no in Bulgarian head nodding is opposite of America.) When all else failed I apologized. And she looked at me like I was a crazy lady.

She had enough. She pulled every.single.package of feminine products from beneath her pretty glass counter. I almost went from owning very few "personal" belongings in the city of Stara Zagora to spending my entire budget on enough girl products to meet the needs of the city.

"Neh, neh," I shook my head. I shook my head the other direction, just in case.

But that's when God sent her. The young giggling girl behind me. As I looked back, I realized she was the front of a long line of irritated, yet somewhat amused gawkers/customers. I didn't do a very good job of representing America to this small crowd. This sweet girl was sent by the Lord above. She sweetly helped me pick out my pretty box and tell the lady in Bulgarian, that no, I didn't just want to take them all.

She grinned and had another laugh as I said goodbye.

Note to self: Next trip, learn the language. Or at least the necessities.

dreamin..

come with me!

(maja is hyperventilating!)

"Ganda"-Oli

We are a house of sickies this week. I don't know where the bug originated, but it definitely bit, jumping from one of us to the next. Which has given me an opportunity to socialize with our new computer, difficult for this tech challenged woman. I never realized that my template has been going nuts! Not sure really what to do with it all, sorry. We have watched a zillion or so movies. And tried to do everything from within the reach of the couch.


So we have decided something. We are going to Africa for two weeks in February! Big surprise.. eh? So as most of you know, we have been going through a midlife crisis since well, maybe a year ago. The whole Des Moines situation originated it. It sounds like watergate or something, hehe. I guess it made us realize that giving up anything for Christ sometimes means your own logical plans. We never know what's around the next corner, any one of us. Since the situation, or the scandal, or the breaking point, hehe, God has changed our thought process in about every way. You already got an earful in the previous post on politics. And just so you know: we could so live in an rv for a year with five kids, Gus, and Chumley. We could. See what I am saying about midlife crisis?


It all started just weeks after we decided that we wouldn't take the job in Des Moines. If I told most people that God spoke to me in the shower, they would source it back to high school. But see, your not normal people. Your blogging people, and since most of you know me in the real world, and you know how nuts I really am, you'll understand. So- here we go: I was just taking a shower, thinking about, well taking a shower. And the word "Uganda" struck my mind. And all I could think about was Uganda. Where is Uganda? What about Uganda? What a fun word...

Try it with me, slow and deep, UUUgaaannda.


Ok, so I am loosing you again.


That's when things started to get crazy. Josh jumped on the wagon, which made things 1000xs more crazy. Did I tell you that the kids are learning Swahili in school this year? haha. Ailah has been running around calling Chumley "Paka". Which is cat- see, you may actually gain information from this post!


And so, the middle of February we are going to Uganda. Why? That's where things get hairy. And if I were going to be the type of person who didn't lay things out there, I wouldn't tell you. But then there is the whole last post. I could tell you that it's a missions trip. And it is in a way. Or a conference, cause it is. Or that we are going to hang out at orphanages. And that we get to meet one of the daughters that we sponsor. But am I really being transparent?


Disclaimer: God alone knows.



But we are praying about spending a few years in Uganda. Hum.



And you all say. Wow, I never would have guessed.

Each time that any one of us team members would say her name, we would have a big grin across our face. Marina was the most influential person I met in Bulgaria. She about made me pee my pants at first. She intimidated me with her gruff loud voice and how forward she was. She was the one that decided wimpy me in flip flops couldn't play soccer at the orphanage with her and her boys. Later I realized, she spared me my life.

Little by little she won my heart. With each instruction, I noticed her genuine and transparent love for each of the boys. Watching how they responded, in laughter with and at her, but with the utmost respect. She had earned it side by side with them. I watched her selfless commitment in coming to the gyspy villages and other orphanages with us. I wondered how many times it took her to learn more than just each of their names, but who they were.

I soon found out her role in the church in Bulgaria. How behind the scenes her leadership is foundational. At camp, she was responsible for accounting for everyone. At she did so thoroughly, dancing until four each morning, up at seven singing karaoke with the roma. I think about leadership ideals in America. And I think about Marina. Her training, her calling, is to be who God alone calls her to be in the very fashion God created her to be- Marina. Marina's past could entrap her, and I am sure at times it does, but she really believes that Jesus is the key, and He has set her free, and more importantly, she is who God created her, good and bad- Marina.

What did God show me in Bulgaria, personally? Honestly, He is still jacking with my heart. Sometimes I feel like a bad boob job- wondering why I am being so fake. Why I feel that I can't say "boob job" on my blog. It is my blog. I mean as Christians, we should be happy with who God created us as, without stitches and tucks. But how often do we look and others and say, oh how I wish that I was just a little more calm like she is? Snip snip.

If I were to truly go naked in the world, would it matter? What drives me anyway? Or who? Sometimes I just really long to sit in a coffee shop naked (and to be completely clear.. no not physically) and really be who I am with people that are completely totally different from me, for the sake of simply community.

Well, I probably lost you all, all three of you. If not, how about some more transparency:
hum, what about politics? Hehe, the feelings that arise in the word "politics." I hate them. I really know nothing about them, except I think that everyone's got an agenda. And it seems in the passion of politics, that real people are lost. I realize that there is a need for politics, and they arise everywhere, including the church. But the line that is created isn't worth it to me. And yes I have opinions on issues, I care, but I have beaten them back and forth with people, and it's been destructive, which to me, seems to be worse than the issue.

Ok- I'll stop, and save religion for next time.. or maybe just go hit Starbucks, hehe.

Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him?

James 2:5

question of the day:

If Adam and Eve wouldn't have sinned, would we still have to take baths?
Bummer Noah, sin is a done deal.