A Wasted 2 Bucks

One of the last times I shared with my brother Craig was at Valleyfair. I payed a boy at a booth to guess my age, I thought it was so awesome that despite having five children he guessed me younger than I was. Somehow he built my confidence and then gave me a stupid blow up bat. Craig laughed at me, he knew it was a waste of time. Three years later, the bat sits my closet and I have aged.

The past few years have kicked by butt in so many ways, showing wear emotionally and physically aging. My heart breaks still anticipating Craig's broad shoulders walking in with a big grin. Today I'm not really ok. It really sucks.

But that is what happens when you love someone, and it's worth it. Not everyone in life receives that love, I've seen it rejected too many times. There is a whole lotta crappy things formed out of fear, including mine.

It's funny how times doesn't make things better, just different. You'd think I would have figured it out by now, but honestly I keep focusing on the end party- it's all I have.

I am thankful for big brothers who have always had your back. For the Lord whipping my snot covered floor while I'm on my knees. I am thankful my confidence and value isn't in found in a booth at Valleyfair, but in His arms. For without it, I'm jacked.

Craig, you're deeply missed. I love you big bro.